“J” and I usually enjoy learning together. We will sit, heads together, pouring over his lessons. We will break the day up by dancing or singing. (The older monkeys try to catch these moments on video, but I have eluded the cameras, thus far 🙂 )
Lately, though, he has been fighting me at every turn. It seems that no matter what I do he is not enjoying school. This has become very frustrating for both of us. He loves learning and I love helping him, but every day had become a chore. We were both dreading school every day — until daddy stepped in.
Wednesday, “R” had an appointment with the doctor. I took her and daddy stayed home with “J”. When I arrived home, he had completed all of his lessons, was working on his homework, and was happy! When I asked my dear husband what he did I was amazed when he said,
“Nothing. I let him do his lessons by himself and ask me questions when he needed help.”
I sat down and talked with “J”. I asked what he wanted to do and how he wanted to learn. I had never done that before and it was an eye-opener.
Me: Do you like mommy sitting with you when you do your lessons?
J: Sometimes I like that and sometimes I don’t.
Me: When do you like it?
J: When I’m confused.
Me: When don’t you like it?
J: When I understand what to do.
Me: How do I know when you are confused and when you understand?
J: I can tell you. I’m not a baby, mom. I’m six now!
WOW! I just discovered something about myself — I hover! Not only was I hovering, but I was smothering. For my over-achieving, independant, free-spirited boy he probably felt like a candle being snuffed out.
“J” and I agreed that he will do his science and social studies lessons by himself and then teach me what he learned. We also decided that he will complete his math lessons while I am in the room so that I can listen and answer any questions right away. As for language arts, we will still work on that together.
Albert Einsein said, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its entire life believing that it is stupid.” Your children are not cut from the same mold and they do not learn in the same way. Always remember that your children are individuals.
God Bless 🙂